okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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