So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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