I looked at my own cervix.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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