just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I believe in your delicious
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
