I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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