Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
