So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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