Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
