So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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