bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
