honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
