Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
