Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
