I think I died a long time ago.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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