spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
