My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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