ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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