you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
