Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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