Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
