marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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