the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
