they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
