i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Mom said you looked used
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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