dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
