We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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