its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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