She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
