garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
