Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I wish there were birth control emojis
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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