people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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