god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
