I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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