Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
