Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Panties = found
Randomize
