I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
