i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
