WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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