I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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