I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I will die if light touches me.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
