he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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