Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
