Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
