You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
