Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
