garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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