no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
