are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
