3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
