i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
